In line with the fact that I've been blessed with a less-then-manly skill, there's another thing that I grapple with everytime I don't have the forsight not to own up to. During my soul-searching time in High School, at one point I had seriously considered ditching the Army thing and becoming a fashion designer. I had learned up to that point that I was also uncannily good about coordinating clothing and actually developing looks. Hell, I'll be honest...I even dreamt up an outfit or two.
Other then the fact that this brought about a series of questioning my sexuality, it really pitted the " a job that will make me money" vs. "a job that won't make me money". Obviously I chose the Army. In hind sight, I believe I made the right choice. I say this for several reasons. The most obvious...my name is not "label material". Whereas people like Ralph Lauren have names that you can pronounce snootily (i.e. the rich say "Ralph Lau-ren" whereas normal people say "Ralph Looren"), my name you really can't do that with.
Secondly, there's nothing special about me. I'm not French, I'm not gay, I wasn't raised under any special circumstances that would make me stand out as being an innovative designer, possibly beyond the fact that I have none of the above. I'm an Army brat from a military family.
Finally, I'd be paranoid that if I did make it famous as a designer, I'd end up being like Jaclyn Smith, and selling my wares only at Kmart. Now given, she does have talent, and she's probably making a grip of money...it's still Kmart. Same arguement about a McDonald's manager that makes a six figure income....that's good...but you still work at f#*king McDonald's.
'Nuff Said.
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