I Prefer 9 Lives To Loyalty

"Cat's are better beeeeyoottch!"

As previously blogged, I'm a cat owner. I come from a family of cat owners. Why do we like cats? Simple. We all hate dogs.

My family all has various reasons why we're not big on dogs, but I'm pretty sure I have the longest or at least the most well thought out list.

- History With Dogs - My first vivid interaction with a dog was getting my face gnawed on when I was six by a German Shepard because I had been playing with my friend too roughly. Several shots later, the MP's picked up the dog, and the dog was "accidently" put down by "mistake". Later on, all in Idaho, I've been accosted by several dogs while I was working a paperroute, coming home from a friend's, or running. Intimidating when I was in Elementary school, I now look forward to going toe to toe with a dog who's forgotten who the top of the food chain is.

- Stink - Dogs stink. Not just when they duke, or when they breathe...they just generally stink. Albiet yes, on occasion, my cats stink, but not when they get wet.

- Furniture Destroyers - Anywhere from chewing up the legs of chairs to literally eating a door. Yes again, I'll admit that my cats occasionally tear up the side of my (crappy) old couch, or a small part of my carpet. But they are no where capable of actually ingesting an entire item of interior decor.

- Owner Killers - As a rule of them, I will never make a pet of an animal that has the ability to harm me or worse. Cats I'm pretty confident I can take down with a single hit, dogs...well, reference "History with Dogs".

- Bills - I've seen and done the math. Dogs cost roughly double of cats, unless you get the jumbo sized dogs (i.e. Newfoundlands or Great Danes)...then not only are you looking at an increased cost of dog food...but you're also looking at giant vet bills when they're diagnosed with their genetically inherited arthritis and weak hearts.

- Drool - The only time I've ever seen a cat drool is when they get into something they shouldn't have (i.e. weeds and other plants). I've seen dogs drool quick enough to fill up a milk carton in about 3-5 minutes. Yuck. All I have to say is Turner and Hooch, and you get the point.

- Dook - ALL cat dook size = about the size of an adult thumb. MOST dog dook size = about the size of a fist. Discuss.

- Noise - I can't recall the last time I've called the police to complain about a neighbors cat. However, I can attest to all of the countless hours growing up listening to our neighbors dog bark at a regular interval that could only be matched by a metronome.

Honestly I could go on for hours, but I won't. Mostly because it's been a long week and my hands would be better suited holding a beer. Don't get me wrong, I think everyone should own the animal of their choice. Some dogs I can relent to seeing as pleasant. However, I'll stick with the more fiscally conservative choice.

I'm out!