"..That's How Long I've Been On Ya..."

Over the weekend, I had the (mis) fortune of doing the "Pioneer Square Loop", and visiting several bars and clubs. For those unfamilar to Pioneer Square in Seattle, it's the oldest part of the city, and also the collection of all the preppy, trendy, overpriced, too-loud, meat market clubs. The bars weren't bad, but the club we visited reminded me of a high school dance that'd been aged 20 years and mixed with crappy liquor. So the night went like this:

Stop 1 - The "Typhoon! Thai Resturant - First, I'm always a bit weary of eating at a resturant that is named after a life taking natural disaster. I'm sure nobody would eat at the "Ebola Hot Zone Wing Dome!", at least I hope they'd reconsider first. The food itself wasn't bad, but possibly a bit overpriced. Thai food is good because it's spiciness is very customizable, and it fills you up quick. I later came to find out it also is a better alcohol cushion in your stomach then greasy fast food. Not bad Typhoon, not bad.

Stop 2 - The "Zig Zag Cafe" - By no means of the imagination is this place a cafe. It's a smaller, jazzier bar with a short cocktail list and a creepy, Saw-esque bathroom. Not bad place, given the constant jazz music and the pricy drinks. The upside of this place was the extremely strong drinks, however, the additional downside was the fact that the extremely strong drinks tasted extremely like crap. I actually had a cocktail made from Aquavit that tasted like absinthe. Gross.

Stop 3 - The "Alibi Room" - The first thing I noticed and liked about this bar was the fact that it was dark as hell. Dimly lit ownly by a sparce amount of scattered lights, until my eyes focused, I tried reading the menu using my cell phone as a backlight. The longisland wasn't over powering which was good, and the service was fairly decent. They were also johnny-on-the-spot with the water, which was good because I wanted to be able to drive home at the end of the night.

Final Stop - "Heaven's Night Club" - Let's just say, the name doesn't fit the bill. The group had reserved a "VIP room", which wasn't a room by any stretch of the imagination. They had roped off an elevated portion of the dance floor, and built "rooms" out of see through curtains (probably to discourage alittle at-club bam bam). In each of these "rooms" was one to two couches and a table that had a built in cooler. The tables also came with a tray of glasses, straws, and a carafe of orange juice and cranberry juice. We ordered a bottle of vodka for the table, which the waitress had to lock up in the table after she poured us drinks every time (understandable as state law prohibits the actual selling of bottles beyond the liquor store, and I'm sure there's a law prohibiting bar patrons from serving themselves). The rest of the night went per usual as they do at meat market clubs. Lots of loud music, people screwing on the dance floor, a toilet glazed in vomit (being the only one free for me), guys being pigs, women being pissy, and someone getting us kicked out because they barked on the couches...which is good because I wanted to leave anyway.

I'm not a real big dancer, and I sure as hell am not big on meat market clubs.

Irish bars all the way!