Ripe With Dispair

So in an effort to eat more healthy and stave off the burrito & ramen diet, I requested and received a vegetable steamer for my birthday. I've always shyed away from eating copious amounts of vegetables because they usually end up going bad in my fridge, or I just don't have the patience to cook them. Now I have the tools to cook them and buy them frozen.
The only problem with switching up my diet is I have yet to really look forward to eating vegetables. Don't get me wrong, there are some that are pretty good (i.e. brussel sprouts...seriously), but they're not even close to comparing to a bacon ultimate cheese burger from "crack" in the box. Seriously, comparing the a crown of broccoli to a greasy ass burger is like comparing a nickel to a block of gold bullion. Given the nickel won't clog my arteries and drastically increase my chances of cancer, sometimes the nickel just needs to stay in my pocket.
Money illiterations aside, with obesity becoming an epidemic in this nation (however, I am NOT calling it a disease....because lupus is a disease, being fat is being lazy) I'm surprised more research and products haven't been invented yet to make vegetables more appealing. We all know they're not the best things from the start, so we gotta spruce them up a bit. Hell, if fruit smoothies fit the bill of a healthy snack, why arn't there government funded smoothie booths next to every post office and federal courthouse?
We can grow a human ear on a mouse, why can't we genetically manipulate eggplant to taste like a giant french fry? How about enlisting the help of underground weed growers to further the development of hydroponics and grow super spuds? Someone's already started trying to make this better, how about carrot cake? Who the hell thought about creating a cake/carrot hybrid?
What I know is this, vegetables are good, beef tastes better, and American's are getting mega fat. Some strategy might be needed to even out the leaf v. moo battle. Although I disagree with the governments ability to tell me what I can and can't eat (i.e. transfatty acids...you bastards), I DO agree that without the firm, health boot of uncle Sugar up the bloated bums of Americans to eat better, I'm pretty positive the incidence of heart disease and skyrocketing insurance rates are bound to occur.

Eat your greens fatty! I'm tired of paying your health bills!