Another Deed Punished

So in thinking about my fears, few vividly come to mind. I'm afraid of deep water, partially submerged objects in said water, and attractive girls I don't know. I imagine it's probably the combination of my mother teaching me to respect womanhood at the threat of pain and being consistantly shot down by girls during the most vulnerable phase in my life...adolescence.

My fear of attractive girls far exceeds any mortal danger I've faced to date. I've been to a war zone, I've been though several instances where I could have died due to medical issues, I've busted into group fights alone while doing law enforcement...pssffft, nothing! Put me infront of an attractive girl...for some reason, I turn completely stupid.

So on to the main event. I was at the gym this morning, trying as always to run on the treadmill so hard as to break it. While running, I always place my towel on the side railing, to which I promptly grab to wipe off sweat at the time intervals of 7 minutes, 13 minutes, 17 minutes, and 24 minutes (I've run enough to notice this...creepy huh?). As per usual, I had accidently placed the towel unevenly over the railing, so naturally it slipped, fell, and landed on the treadmill, and went shooting off the back of the treadmill. Not a problem because normally, I just get it after my run.

Nope. There was a very pretty girl behind me.Okay...this made it alittle embarassing, but not too bad because like I said, it happens. I could have stopped and picked it up...but that almost makes it feel like you can't run without your "blanky".

Thinking everything was okay, I kept running, until I somehow didn't notice that she had picked it up on the way out and placed it back on my railing for me. "Doh! I didn't thank her!" So now, in addition to being embarrassed as to have slingshot my towel off the treadmill at her, I now am the jerk that didn't thank her for doing an unusually kind thing (because I honestly wouldn't grab a another's towel...don't know how much sweat is in there).

So after she leaves, I feel like a raging renob, but hoping she'll at least pat herself on the back for being cool. Just when it leaves my mind, she comes back. She got on the treadmill in front of me and started running. There are also mirrors infront of us so I feel compelled to raise my towel like a glass and blurt out "thanks for the towel!" in a semi-winded, very awkward statement.

Enter the Seinfield arguement in my head, which banters back and forth about "well I could thank her now, but has it been to long? What if she's in mid work out? Is it appropriate? Would it look like I was hitting on her? Is she going to end up going to the gym every day I do and give me the stink eye on a regular basis?"

Suffice to say, I took the Seinfield approach and stealthily finished my workout.

So I'd like to conclude on two things.

1) If you're the girl that picked up a brown towel for a man on the treadmill at the gym this morning, I wish you a beavy of mad good-karma points. That was unusually kind and I hope you win the lottery or learn how to poop gold. I'm prayin' for ya.

2) If you're an attractive girl and you decide to do a nice thing for a strange guy, don't do it at the gym! We're so busy thinking either about a) how more "buff" we look b) what we're going to eat for dinner tonight or c) how we'd rather be home playing XBox. Guys simply are not good at either asking for help (i.e. stopping for directions) or gratitude (i.e. when has the last guy looked at a birthday card from you and said "awwww, that's so sweet".)

Freakin' towel!