"Fish Hook On A Stick"

So the big dentist visit was today. I expected some praise as since my last dental visit, I've been fairly good about brushing, flossing, and using mouthwash every night.

And I was wrong.

The dental hygenist spent a good 30 minutes at least scraping more calcium off my teeth then there is in a jug of milk, and harshly at that. If I didn't know any better, I would have been more convinced that she was etching the Mona Lisa into each one of my teeth as fast as possible. This sweet delight capped off with her occasionally knicking my gums with the pointy edge.
The funny thing was, after she had done this and gave me the grape(vomit) flavored flouride treatment. She stood up and offered me a tissue (as in a Kleenex tissue). Now, place yourself in my shoes for a second. I've been sitting on my back for the last 40 minutes with my head tilted back, chin up to the ceiling. After being offered a Kleenex, what is the first thing you're going to think? Thaaat's right, boogs. So immediately I checked my nose for any stalagmites, but nothing. So I went back to pondering as to what the Kleenex was for. After a few seconds of thought, she then offered me one of those individually packaged, high quality napkins that was being kept warm. Puzzled! "What the hell am I supposed to wipe with this thing??" She hovered over me to see what I was to do with it, and while I fiddled with it, she stated "you should open it now, it's better when it's warm". "Oh, of course!" I muttered quietly while stalling to figure out what I was going to do. Finally, I just took a shot in the dark and started rubbing it all over my face below my eyes. Then she, creepily I might add, said "there, isn't that nice?" (no, literally...I quote ver batem). "Oh totally - Apparently I had spit in and about my face that I wasn't aware of".
Then the dentist came over to inspect her work. Seeming timid (for dentists - Army dentists are always old and real pissy) and near my age, he was actually refreshing to be around. He started checking my teeth for cavities (which actually "occlusion" is the magic word to listen for). He looked around, then shortly after got the fish hook on a stick device and started checking my fillings. From my limited knowledge of dental procedures, this is usually good....however...then he uttered the dreaded "occlusion in 31" followed by the damnit phrase "watch occlusion in 17".
So, in my immediate thought of "dammit! How can I have any more cavities?? My back teeth have more silver then Federal Reserve!" I then thought back to my last dental visit in the Army...yes good ol' number 31 was filled by the dentist that used the tactic of drilling REALLY hard and REALLY fast. That way, there was no anxiety about getting a filling (however, he usually failed to let the novocain set in). HOWEVER, the Army dentist apparently didn't fill number 31 correctly because now a part of that filling is gone. This was further demonstrated by my current dentist when he stuck his pick in their and showed that he could actually tug on my tooth because it was that far into my tooth. Great. So not only do I have to get a cavity filled (er...refilled), they have to remove the rest of the old filling. I have no idea what that entails, but I already hate it.
This I presume is the karma boomerang for me talking smack about Army Dentistry. Damn.