The bachelor party turned out to be a raging success. Despite a split heater hose on our party bus (which turned out we got a lesser bus for a huge discount), we still managed to hit all the highlights for Broggin's bachelor party: booze, bars, shots, strip joints, casinos, "Edward 40 Hands", and the soon-to-be-groom introducing himself to the contents of his small intestine in the bathroom. We also went an saw Bogey, that man doesn't play! Rock!
This led me to the inevitable epiphany that if/when I get married, I can't have a bachelor party of this caliber. This is for the following reasons:
1) My Oldest Brother - Although not a vindictive man, his bachelor party culminated in zooking up about a gallon of various alcohols (i.e. Irish Car bombs and shots of 151) all over a stripper stage, hanging off of a chain link fence for an hour while we waited for a ride, and required 2 hours of me explaining why his bed is more comfortable then being curled around the base of the toilet. It was half my fault, half my middle brother's fault in that we were responsible for aboutg 70% of those drinks. My middle brother did the smart thing and went to a crappy little bar during his "bachelor party" (all brothers & the soon-to-be-bride) and ordered REALLY watered down drinks. So now, my oldest brother only has me to bring justice for such the horrific pain that we had wrought on him. He will have his return-on-investment.
2) My Liver - Despite the fact that I'm reasonably fit, take multivitamins, and don't smoke, I've put considerable wear on my liver over the past few years. I'm at the point now where if I reach a certain critical mass, I just completely black out. I've found that in my few black out periods, it takes alot longer for me to pass out then it used to. Had I been in Broggin's place last Friday night, I'm pretty sure I would STILL be blacked out.
3) My Sense of Entertainment - Seeing as how I can't get any hell from guys here on the blog, I'll say it. I'm not a big fan of strippers, really, at all. The idea that all they do is grind on dudes all night and completely take their clothes off and on just confuses me. Why would I pay to get sexually aroused? Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against watching pretty girls dance, what guy wouldn't? But I'm not a big fan of the constant feigning of interest in who I am, what I do, blah blah blah.
**So having said that, my goal for my if/when bachelor party is purely bowling and beer. Unless of course my friends arn't that athletically inclined, then I'd rather just play alot of online computers games and drink beer.
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