Crappy Directors, On The Wheel!

(D-bag 1: Jason Friedberg & D-bag 2: Aaron Seltzer)

The first to be ordered to the wheel are these two total-hack-no-talent-a$$-clowns that have been the directors of the mega-fail films "Epic Movie", "Date Movie", "Meet The Spartans", and the soon to come "Disaster Movie"(I didn't hyper link these because I don't want their crap to receive any hits on IMDB, because they fail that bad).

These morons, that apparently received their training in film and arts from a quarter machine at their local grocery store, are notorious for creating such crap to deprive innocent movie goers of their precious lives, in 1.5 hour increments. They are literally killing people by placing them into an absolute stupor when these innocent people watch their films. Despite the fact that they tout their own comedy as being clever and witty and blah blah blah, they're seriously only funny in their own minds. They're literally about as funny as the guy that tells you a joke, then after you laugh, decides he wants to describe to you, in lengthy detail, the punchline.

I've have been dumb enough to see Date Movie and Meet The Spartans. Only twice in my life have I felt not only robbed of my admission money, but also a little bit dumber after seeing a movie, and these were both of those movies. I'm not sure where these idiots get the financial backing for what they believe to be comedy, or whether the scripts are actually reviewed, but someone is pissing a lot of money away on nothing. In watching these films, they make no attempt at subtle humor, or at humor at all for that matter. Even when I was in 7th grade, I wouldn't have found their comedy funny in the least. And I'll be honest, toilet humor slays me....that's what makes their cinematic diarrhea even worse.

I was horrified to see that Meet The Spartans hit over $18 million at the box office when it opened. But then I thought if people were able to get refunds for a movie seriously blowing, it probably would have been more about $4.25 for that one seriously mental retarded kid sitting in the back row with his chair facing the wall of the theatre chewing on his own face....he would have enjoyed the film.

As a testament to humanities future, I will be watching the box office for how this movie goes. If it sinks down the crapper (as it should, read the reviews for their other cinematic travesties on IMDB), then my faith in humanity will be restored. If it tacks over $10 million, I will become even more jaded with the human race, and after the crap these meatball directors put out, I'm not sure that's possible.

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer: Your "movies" (and by "movies", I mean "visual vomit with cameo appearances of Carmen Electra") are not funny. They will never will be funny. You are horrible, horrible directors, and should be banned from Hollywood, even Bollywood, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

Put the damn camera down and get on The Wheel!