So let's talk about something that no one should ever do. It's pretty fairly obvious, but it never really seems to dawn on you until you're in the moment.I call it the "Everclear & 7Up" one-two punch. Discovered on accident while on a mission to relax, I had realized that I was out of booze. Peering into my "liquor cabinet" (actually where I put that, phone books, and cooking oil), I saw the following and thought.
"Hmm...Rum I brought back from Puerto Rico? Nah. Gonna save that"
"Hmm...Absinthe? Blech. I'm not drunk enough to drink that bottled elm ass"
Then I noticed the two ENORMOUS jugs of Everclear smiling at me, side by side. The Everclear that I had used to make absinthe. At this point, I was mulling over all the spodi-related horror stories of Everclear and how you actually can run any gas operated machine on it. "Hell why not, the human body is pretty resiliant".
So I went to mixing the Everclear about 1/5 to 4/5 7Up (the fluffy diet kind with lime that Oregon-B picked up while here). I noticed as I poured the soda into the alcohol, it barely has enough time to fizz up before receeding quickly. I looked at it up against the light as though I had created a mutagen (which I still might be for my liver).
As I took a sip, I expected my pants to catch on fire like it did when I pounded a shot of the "2nd try" absinthe I'd created (1/2 Everclear & 1/2 Vodka). Suprisingly it was the sweetest concoction on Earth. My theory is the Everclear being soooooo clean of any type of additive or impurity, although strong when drank straight, when cut with something bubbly and cold, it is DANGEROUS (and tasty).
So now to ensure I don't pickel my innards at an alarming rate. I allow myself the drink (which I have dubbed "Clearly Fucked Up") only twice a week, and no more then two servings per sitting. I haven't had a hang over because I've found it to be perfect in "getting you there", without filling up or tasting like a cat shat in your mouth the next morning.
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2 comments:
That reminds me of this time I was in Hilton Head, South Carolina. There's this place called Frosty Frog which has a wall of smoothie machines mixing up different flavors of smoothies. To top these "smoothies" off, they add a generous helping of Everclear. You can buy these different smoothies in gallon jugs and take them home to drink (in case public drunkeness isn't your thing)
Here's the sad thing about Frosty Frog smoothies...you can't taste a damn thing.
Which makes it easy to drink a lot...which makes it even easier to get, "where the fuck am I" drunk.
I suggest the dreamsicle flavor if you ever get a chance to make it to Hilton Head Island.
I feel your pain buddy.
Thankfully I'm not the only one! I don't know if I'm necessarily feeling a gallon jug of it...because if it's as smooth as you say, that's an extra helping of bad news. :P
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