I Need Some F**king Friends

Went out to a retirement dinner last night (gay) then to trivia night (awesome) with a bunch of coworkers from my last job when I was in HR.

That night pointed out some very marked differences between where I am currently in life, and why men my age tend to suck as friends. Dinner last night, everyone (except one) was older than me, all of them are married, and all they can talk about is kids, sports, and...well that's it.

I find this lame (and yes, if I haven't posted it somewhere, I f**king hate sports) because I might be 31, but that doesn't mean I'm going to mothball my Xbox and start beating off to investment prospectus. Does getting married and/or having kids really just make you immediately suck at life? Given, as with all of my observations, I do swing a pretty broad brush stroke, but seriously. I recently ditched a friend of mine (20 years about) because he couldn't make time to hang out with me at all on account of being married and/or having a kid (even though it didn't help that his wife had his balls firmly stored in a jar under the sink).

This was also true that apparently if you enter the Army as an Officer, you're pretty much required to be a complete douche and major in the art of talking about flipping houses and playing golf. One of the severe downsides after five years in was the fact that I felt like I was in a uniform organization that was secretly a frat house.

Trivia night last night, surround by people my age or younger, hootin' and hollering for more beer. Not talking about children, not talking about real estate market fluctuations, not talking about sports, nothing. It was limitless banter about a sort of random stuff and it was awesome.

Then after the hootin' and hollering was done, I went home and ate my sad Taco Bell alone on my couch in a drunken stupor. It seems as though I always work at places where I'm typically the young guy that isn't a$$ deep in marriage and surrounded by babies....which is good because I'd hate to have to kick my own a$$.