Not This Noise Again

So, the big vacation with the brothers begins tomorrow. Once again the hassles of flying, however, my beef is never with the airports or security...it's usually with other passengers.

As my parents like to reflect back on a day where not everyone flew (i.e. trailor trash), and where people dressed up to go to the airport, those days are far gone now...in favor of crying children and uptight, yuppie d-bags that think we'll all be impressed in the fact that they've deployed their laptop and are already well into an Excel document when we pass by them in 1st Class.

I've sat next to the fatties, I've sat next to the crying children, and I've sat next to the hippie that should have bathed 4 days ago....compliments of the Army, I've built a thick wall of silent intolerence of these people....however, they're not my nemesis.

My nemesis are those people who think people should be allowed to use cell phones on a plane in mid flight. People like *this who believe that the safety of a few hundred people can be off set by their need to chat. And especially those people that wait like salivating dogs hungry for steak for the pilot to say that it's okay to use their cell phones. Only then do you hear 200+ cell phones popping open and passengers starting to give who-knows-who the play by play of where they are and what they're doing.

A close second are those people who are on their cell phones up until the very second before the flight begins and they usually end the conversation with "I'll call you when we get on the ground"...goodie...so I'll go ahead and chalk you up to another "we're here, I'm getting my bag from the overhead, I'm looking out side, I'm wearing blahblahblahblahblahblah".

Yep...can't wait.


*Editors Note: Had I been on that flight, the guy would have had to figure out how to turn his cell phone off from inside his rectum. 'Nuff said.