My Nightmares Weigh Three Metric Tons

BBW - Ironically close to the term "BBQ", I first discovered this terminology a loooong time ago when I was peddling porn in the bathrooms in Junior High (don't worry, I too was in Junior High at the time).

The term means "big beautiful woman", however, just like a bacon, cheese, and peanut butter sandwich, one of those words has to go.

Know I'm well aware of fetishism. I've written copious amounts of research proposals on them for college and honestly, I watch a crap ton of Internet porn. And beyond those that have an insane fetish for fat ladies, I wouldn't know any normal person who would say that any gigantic chick could be "beautiful".

Yes I know, "they have a beautiful face"...blah blah blah. Unfortunately, the head only equals roughly 2-4% of the average body weight. And to top that one off, faces don't make up for the fact that you could literally stuff a doughnut under a roll of flab and leave it be for weeks at a time.

This deviates from my normal rant against all people, because I need to focus in on those that are seriously obese and think they're sexy. Some women might argue that men have the same mindset....I would say different. When a guy is fat, he doesn't hit on skinnier, more attractive women because he thinks he's grade A. He does it because he's disillusioned about how nasty he is. Is this acceptable? No. Do I defend fat guys acting like they're weight lifters in their early 20's? Absolutely not.

Women, or these self-proclaimed "BBW's" if you will, know they're fat, and just commit to thinking they're attractive anyway. Every time I hear the "I'm happy with who I am and how I look", I just want to get on a bus full of 6th graders, tie a sock around my eyes, and start swinging like hell...just to get the rage out. I can only imagine classic denial is what makes these women think they're attractive, all the while generating pump fat and wearing 30 lbs. of jewelry.

To all the BBW's out there, you're not attractive. I don't care if your face can end wars and cure disease, you're not attractive. From a regular guy's standpoint, you're too damn fat. From an evolutionary standpoint, you're not built for survival nor breeding. From a frequent traveler standpoint, I don't want to sit next to you on the bus/train/plan. And from a Human Resource professional, you're "beauty" is driving up health care costs for us skinny people.

Want to feel good? GO TO THE GYM.