So today was tooth cleaning after yesterday's awesome news of no cavities (that the Army originally convinced me that I had 3). So I would like to share in bullet format the thoughts of my dental fun:
1) For once, I would like to go to a cleaning, and not get a lesson on how to floss
2) a. Me laying down and a hot girl with rubber gloves looming over me = Good
b. Me laying down and a hot girl with rubber gloves and a dental pick looming over me = bad
3) If the hygenist asks what kind of toothpaste you use, never say "the one that's on sale".
4) There is nothing more humbling then watching the dentist pick out a piece of last night's bean burrito from behind your wisdom tooth and wiping it on your paper bib.
5) All teeth professionals (dentists, orthodontists, dental hygenists, etc) HATE wisdom teeth. You'd think at some point growing up, a wisdom tooth pimp slapped their mother.
6) Next time you have a mouthful of teeth cleaning goodness, right before they suck it out with the straw...swallow it and immediately sit up and ask "holy crap that burns like hell!"
7) Take a short piece of floss and stick it between two molars. Then wait and find out how long it takes them to find it.
8) Why is there coffee & cookies in the waiting room of the dentist? I'm sure the dentists don't appreciate a freshly-coffee-hosed set of teeth
9) People would like dentists more if they gave nitrous regardless of the procedure
10) I would give mad props to the dentist office that used bacon flavored flouride
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