Why All Women Need Boots

fig. 1-1 For the record, patent leather isn't sexy. It's gross.

  So few people know that at a point in High School, I seriously debated going into the Army, and instead going into fashion design. By that point, I had several drawing pads of fashions sketched out, and was feeling somewhat confident I could make it in that industry. However, due to the fact that I'm not from another country (as most designers seem to be) and I'm not gay (which, come'on, we all know 99.99% of male designers are), I'd probably hit a glass ceiling at some point. So off to the Army I went! 

  With that background, and as Fall is upon us, I find it tragic that women everywhere arn't making the most of this season. And by that, I mean BOOTS! 

  Boots are a great fashion accessory for many reasons:

- They go with everything to include jeans, skirts, dresses, shorts (but be really careful with that lest you look like a streetwalker).

- They literally exude confidence! They can really add that extra oomph to any outfit.

- They have more variety, at least from what I've seen, then shoes. The basic rule of fashion is more fabric = more styles to work with.

Now obviously people have also not heard some of the unspoken rules of boots. First and foremost, if your boots have at least a 5" heel and platforms, you probably shouldn't be wearing those to work (as I've seen at my last job). Just wildly inappropriate because you're crossing into the CFM boot level, and from an HR standpoint...nope. Not appropriate.

Patent leather is never appropriate. Strippers wear that shit. And no, most guys don't want to see stripper-esque fashion on the street.

Boots should never have open toes. Never, never, never, never. That is just a gross fashion. Never!

Uggs are unacceptable at all times. Azurael has spoken.

Flat boots (aka the "Equestrian" look), as much as I loathe them, do have some function. But they also strike me as being a bit passive-aggressive in the function of the boot. Almost like the wearer doesn't really want to fully commit to the fashion, and that's just sad.

Look ladies, I'm sure most of you know that boots will instantly grab a mans attention. And if you weren't aware, yes, they damn near make us break our necks when you walk by. So just stick to these guidelines, and make the most of Fall for all of us!