The Pity Party, Table For One

So in light of my recent down turn in partying and heading to the bars, I took some time to reflect on some of the colossal failures ( and somewhat successful) house parties I've been to in my shindig career.

I doing so, I've also been able to recall what are pretty much some of the top 10 things I hope never to hear and/or see at a party, and the epilogue of what the usual outcome is.

10. "It's not my beer Officer"

Epilogue - It doesn't matter

9. "I can't believe my ex had the nerve to show up..."

Epilogue - Massive grudge boinking

8. "All we have left is Miller High Life!"

Epilogue - Party stops for an epic beer run

7. "All the stores are closed dude."

Epilogue - Miller High Life ensues

6. "Who wants something from (insert fast food chain of choice here)

Epilogue - Massive vomiting ensues

5. "Don't worry what it is, just drink it!"

Epilogue - Turns out to be pretty much anything but good.

4. "Dude, you're pretty wasted...are you sure that was a fart?"

Epilogue - Nope, no it wasn't a fart

3. "Dude, I'm not gonna make it"

Epilogue - He doesn't make it.

2. "Hey, you're not looking so good"

Epilogue - Next time stage the bucket ahead of time

1. "Come on now, we're all friends here..."

Epilogue - Some sort of nudity occurs