I Know That Smell....

Over a month into my unemployment "bliss" and hating every minute of it. 

Don't get me wrong, not having to get up at the butt crack of dawn to go to work isn't bad. That's actually the highlight of being jobless. It's the employment searches that drives me bananas.

Looking through job postings, I've found a long time ago that companies are just asking for absurdity at best when they're developing or hiring new job roles.

I have a Dual Masters in Human Resources, which you figure would be enough to land me at least the bottom of the barrel HR jobs (i.e. specialist, generalist, etc.). Not quite. Most places, while requiring a Bachelors, typically ask for 5-10+ years HR experience. Even better, they typically tend to throw in "oh yeah, you gotta have payroll processing experience too...".

Okay numbnuts, HR professionals don't typically have accounting experience. Why? Because that's just a whole different field. It's called accounting.

No, I'm not fluent in Sanscrit. No, I don't use Quickbooks. And hell no, I don't have a SHRP (because I figure an actual education, and not some store bought certification carries more weight).

And as for benefits, casual dress, "fun work environment", and a "competitive salary" (i.e. $1 higher than minimum wage) are not actual benefits.

Good gravy I never should have left the Army. Civilians don't know their ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to career progression.