I'm Sorry, I Wasn't Aware My Xbox360 Could Travel Through Time

So in my usual impulsive, game buying nature, I decided to give hype a shot and bought this game because I understood it to be good. I understood the hype wrong.

I believe this is one of those rare times where a great game producer (i.e. Bioware) ends up putting out complete crap. Unfortunately, the hype was generated for the fact that Bioware was putting out this type of game.

Let's highlight the good parts of the game:

None

Now let's highlight the bad issues with the game:

- Graphics. I've played (and still play) some very old games and I've never been a graphics snob, especially playing my games on ancient tvs and monitors. These graphics were inexcusibly poor.

- Story. I'm a fan of backstory in games, but what designers need to remember is that their average consumer gamer is a dude. Not a guy, not a man, a dude. Dead Space had the perfect backstory with just enough depth, "stuck on a scary ship, need to repair it to get off, the chick you're working with turns out to be a traitorous bit*h, karma sucks". Perfect. Having to listen and memorize every NPC's backstory is not only a waste of my time, it's also a waste of work that could be spent instead on killing crap.

- Game play. I've only played a few games that actually play themselves, and this is one of them. When you go into combat, your character literally starts attacking enemies on it's on with not a press of any button. What is fun about this?

- Customization. The equipment and weapons customization was terrible. Graphics, design, and menu usage. Just spectacularly terrible.

- Downloadable Content. Okay, WTF am I paying $60 for a game that posted content you can buy online the same day the game is released? I equate this to software producers posting major patches for glitchy software after a program is released. There's no excuse for it.

Suffice to say, playing Dragon Age Origins was painful. I played it for about 10 hours and was absolutely not pulled into it. The fact that I bought a crappy game doesn't piss me off as much as the fact that many gamers will be duped into buying this crappy game because it has a big name on it. And what pisses me off even worse are there are those shills that are paid to post glowing reviews of this crap on sites like gamefaqs.com. (Go there and read any 10/10 reviews, those are shills, and full of complete b.s.)

Anyway Bioware, this is your warning from me. I already put your Dragon Age game on Goozex.com and got 1000 points for it. I will absolutely do the same if ya'll do it again with your next big game, whatever it is.