Another One Falls Behind Her MeatShield Child!

As found on this news link, Army Spc. Alexis Hutchinson is just another "soldier" to add to the growing list of f*cking cowards who hide behind their children in lieu of going to war. The article states that she couldn't deploy because her mother "backed out at the last minute" from taking care of the kid, but I don't buy that bs for a second. Why? Because I've heard this excuse a billion times over.
The Army functions like this. If a soldier who is a single parent is unable to deploy due to having a child that noone else can care for, it's called being discharged for failure to have a family care plan. This "soldier" had a family care plan, until she was called to deploy, then for some reason it convienently went away.
Even moreso, to call the day of and state you're not deploying, can you be f*cking serious?? By any other means, that is a sheer act of cowardice, which is ONLY topped by the fact that she's using her bastard son as a reason for it.
This oxygen thief is an absolute slap in the face to all the soldiers who are forced to leave their families behind and deploy for the GOOD OF THEIR FELLOW SOLDIER. She isn't good enough to pick up the sh*t the military dogs leave behind.

F**k A Hologram!

Man alive it's been a while since I last posted so let's play catch up shall we?

- Recently started a new job working as a contractor, something I said I'd never do because honestly, who likes contractors? Well no, I don't like myself, so don't even try that one.

- Just settled a small claims case against my ex-landlord that decided he was going to go ahead and keep my entire security deposit forever, or until his a$$ got served by the Sheriffs department letting him know I'd be waiting for him at Courtroom #2. Oh, and by settled, I mean I got everything I wanted and he got to look like a complete f**kwad.

- My Xbox360 finally just shat out on me. Although the slew of cussing at first was enough to kill an average Marine, I quickly accepted this fact because everyone one of my friends has been hit with the Ring Of Death. I even had one friend that went through 4 Xbox360's before finally getting one that would last longer than 1 hour. And the pisser is Mass Effect 2 just came out, and I've played about 10 hours. Wanted to play more, but nope! Now I have to wait another month before I can play a game I waited 3 months to play. Awesome.

- Going back to the work subject, my coworkers are all f**king idiots. They apparently are unable to grasp the concept of "timelines" and "deadlines", and apparently just think it's hilarious to trash on our clientel INFRONT of our clientel. Good plan guys, that'll get your a$$ promoted sometime soon.

- Speaking of which, the second in charge at my work just got demoted for being a complete idiot (remember Milton from Office Space?). So now, despite the fact that I'm only a few months into my job, I'm going to piss off all my veteran co-workers by applying for the higher paying job, and hopefully getting it. Again a$$holes, INFRONT of our clientel.

Well, enough ranting for now...off to sully my sorrows in beer and porn. Rock.

A New Level Of Depravity

I stumbled across this during my daily viewings of geek digest (i.e. www.geekologie.com) and where, oh where, to begin. There arn't enough verbal jabs that I have stored up on this one.

I believe the pinnacle to start on this trailor is the part where a supposed pre-teen uses the c**t word, and then moves on to the fact that she's got more moves than several superheros combined.

Up the same alley as the movie "Hard Candy", apparently girls are able to over power men with the greatest of ease before they're even out of High School. The movie "The Professional" pulled this off because they made the girl character flawed, but still gave her the attitude to be able to pull off killing someone.

Anyway, back to this movie. So, other then the fact that it stars the ever befuddled Nicholas Cage, it stars something even worse, a girl that bascially embodies the classic pedofiles dream. Yep, I f**king said it. You have a girl that goes through several costume changes, which usually consist of schoolgirl outfits and Manga style purple wigs, mix that up with her having a mouth like a sailor, and toss in a bit of the apparently unholy martial arts skills, and let's not forget her still wanting to act like a little kid, and there you go. Pedofiles will be LINING UP for this pile of uninspirational crap.

I've been in the Army, I've worked with ex-felons, so I'd like to think very few things offend me. This movie offends me. This movie offends me to the point I'd like to dook in a box, mail it to Nicholas Cage, pimp slap the parents of the kid actor, and force the director to watch "Epic Movie" without respite for 24 hours straight. I swear to f**king everything that is holy that Hollywood isn't even trying any more.

This trailor hasn't apparently gone widespread yet, but I'm sure when it does, there'll be plenty other people lining up to the right of me on this bullsh*t.

I'm Sorry, I Wasn't Aware My Xbox360 Could Travel Through Time

So in my usual impulsive, game buying nature, I decided to give hype a shot and bought this game because I understood it to be good. I understood the hype wrong.

I believe this is one of those rare times where a great game producer (i.e. Bioware) ends up putting out complete crap. Unfortunately, the hype was generated for the fact that Bioware was putting out this type of game.

Let's highlight the good parts of the game:

None

Now let's highlight the bad issues with the game:

- Graphics. I've played (and still play) some very old games and I've never been a graphics snob, especially playing my games on ancient tvs and monitors. These graphics were inexcusibly poor.

- Story. I'm a fan of backstory in games, but what designers need to remember is that their average consumer gamer is a dude. Not a guy, not a man, a dude. Dead Space had the perfect backstory with just enough depth, "stuck on a scary ship, need to repair it to get off, the chick you're working with turns out to be a traitorous bit*h, karma sucks". Perfect. Having to listen and memorize every NPC's backstory is not only a waste of my time, it's also a waste of work that could be spent instead on killing crap.

- Game play. I've only played a few games that actually play themselves, and this is one of them. When you go into combat, your character literally starts attacking enemies on it's on with not a press of any button. What is fun about this?

- Customization. The equipment and weapons customization was terrible. Graphics, design, and menu usage. Just spectacularly terrible.

- Downloadable Content. Okay, WTF am I paying $60 for a game that posted content you can buy online the same day the game is released? I equate this to software producers posting major patches for glitchy software after a program is released. There's no excuse for it.

Suffice to say, playing Dragon Age Origins was painful. I played it for about 10 hours and was absolutely not pulled into it. The fact that I bought a crappy game doesn't piss me off as much as the fact that many gamers will be duped into buying this crappy game because it has a big name on it. And what pisses me off even worse are there are those shills that are paid to post glowing reviews of this crap on sites like gamefaqs.com. (Go there and read any 10/10 reviews, those are shills, and full of complete b.s.)

Anyway Bioware, this is your warning from me. I already put your Dragon Age game on Goozex.com and got 1000 points for it. I will absolutely do the same if ya'll do it again with your next big game, whatever it is.

For The Record....

Here we go again with the usual media whoring of this unstoppable, baby crapping factory. The woman's put her body through enough trauma now that she's having kids born very prematurely. Bravo Dugger, you baby crapping cow. You're so hell bent on replacing your self worth with more children, you're actually putting not only the unborn ones at risk (because humans are not designed to have offspring like dogs), you're also risking the mental and social well being of your currently kids (i.e. how do you divide your time among your platoon of children).

I know, I know...the words of one anonymous blogger won't stop you for trying to reach your sunum bonum and crapping your 20th kid, but apparently you've never learned the idea of quality over quantity.

Your rep said "Michelle, who has been in the hospital recovering from a gallstone, was taken to the OR for an emergency c-section. The most important thing right now is for Mom and baby Josie to get as much rest as possible. The family is grateful for all the prayers and well wishes during their recovery."(Source: Dlisted.com). Well, despite the fact that it probably doesn't show, I am a God fearing man, and I'm going to spend the breathe I reserve for prayers, and while I'm thinking of you, I'm going to use that breath to smoke the biggest cigar in the world. I hope your recovery is as long and as painful as humanly possible. For the amount of damage your kids are going to experience down the line, I can only hope your suffering is 10x worse.

STOP BREEDING.

Delicious is spelled G-U-I-L-T-Y!

Finally, finally, finally....a case that's been judged correctly after I've probably blogged about hundreds of miscarriages of humanity.

Yes folks, she's guilty. The fact that her dna was all over the scene didn't help. The fact that her story changed about five different times didn't help. The fact that she kept smiling like an a$$clown did not help.

People from Washington, listen to me. Just because this blonde psychopath went to UW, doesn't make her innocent. And to Senator Cantwell (D) from Washington state, how F**KING big are your giant woman-balls to question the justice system of an entire country. You're a Senator, as they say in the Army, stay in your lane! Just because this girl was a resident of Washington state, doesn't give her a f**king pass for murder. I can guarentee that if this trial had involved some out of shape, unpopular guy from WSU (Washington State University)...he would have been found guilty (anyway) and no body would have missed a beat. Instead, she's portrayed as some innocent college girl and apparently we're required to back her because she's from the same state. Well, f**k that and f**k you Cantwell.

And to Amanda Knox, who's smilin' now?

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We're Gonna Need Another Boat

The Pirate Bay is now down. Long live piracy...and strike another one up for Corporate bastards.

I Am Jacks Raging Bile Duct

I like to blog when there is soemthing on my mind, and especially when something is bugging me. Today, there is absolutely no shortage of idiocracy on the float in the world:

For Insane Dog Lovers - Just when you thought that the Snuggie couldn't be campy enough, they now make them for dogs. Before you go any further, please read that sentance again. This is comparably worse then people that dress their animals up. I mean really?

This biggest BS claim since someone said Pluto wasn't a planet - A Dr. Joan Luby (don't even get me started on the name) of Washington University in St. Louis is claiming that children as young as 3 years old can exhibit the symptoms of chronic depression. Fastforward completely through all the BS of this article to the part that reads "Previous research has suggested that rising numbers of preschoolers are taking psychiatric drugs, including Prozac, which is used to treat depression." Who the F**K is feeding children Prozac?! What doctor, nonetheless parent, would drug up a kid this young? Their brain isn't even fully developed yet and yet these morons have decided to start pumping their bodies full of drugs?? GOOD PLAN MORONS!

GIANT BRASS ONES - So despite the fact that Washington Mutual took the hugest dook known to the banking industry, the executives are actually suing to get MILLIONS in bonus that were listed to be paid in their employment agreements. These a-holes should be fortunate enough that the people that banked their didn't demand their head on a pike. Knowing someone who was a WaMu customer, yes, they did nickle and dime you to unholy hell. These executives probably need it anyway, in light of the fact that no self respecting bank would ever hire them. Greedy f**ks.

I'm sure there'll be more to come, because the faucet that pours dumb just never turns off.

I Moved To Seattle For This?

I can remember growing up in Idaho and hearing all about how bad the weather was in Seattle. The classic "raining too much, high suicide, etc.etc.etc." is what I always heard. Long, cold seasons, tons of rain, hardly ever sunlight.

Fast forward a few years to me actually living here. For every summer I've lived here in the past three years, it's been at least 90 degrees or above. This year, we've actually hit 103 degrees during the summer.

Looking around at the apartments here in Seattle, I have yet to find one with central air. But everyone that has grown up here keeps repeating like a broken record "oh, there's no need for it because it never gets that hot for that long". Apparently I'm living in a different Seattle then what I grew up hearing about because it's just too f**king hot to be.

KGB (542542) Is WROOOOOOONG.

The other day during a trip to the bar, whilst, I was drinking a beer, I decided to take the KGB (i.e. 99 cent cell phone google service) for a test run to see what they had to say to a few questions. Bascially, I was trying to play stump the chump with what is supposed to be an answer service.

Yes, they got the number of lifeboats on the Titanic correct, however, they did get a question wrong. And what I like to consider, a pretty easy question wrong.

Who said "that which does not kill us, only makes us strong"? No, they didn't say Kanye West, but they did say it was Goethe.

WRONG.

Ol' KGB needs to do abit more fact checkin' on their Friday nights. Guess I won't be usin' them anymore.