There are alot of things that make me angry in the world. And when I get angry, I get angry for a long time.
(Authors Note: Serving overseas, the Sergeant I worked with always made it a point to exclaim to me how much he loved women...)
Oregon-B endedup coming up for the weekend, and we attended the 2011 Pax Convention in Seattle.
- It was refreshing to be surrounded by soooo many gamers. Even though some took it alot more seriously than me...nice to finally be in a place that talks my language.
- Booth Babes...best idea ever. And if any models are reading this that have done that kind of work, you're just awesome.
- I'm not entirely sure what someone would do at that place for 3 days, but 1 day seemed good.
-Mental Note: Sleep more before the convention. Gaming conventions apparently involve ALOT of walking.
- Free stuff always a plus. Got my hands on a Halo lego set...which I plan to cover in protective plastic and sit on for 30 years to cash in on Ebay...if Ebay still exists.
- Suprisingly, there were ALOT of women at the convention too. And not the kind that occasionally play some regular Xbox Arcade games. These girls were knee deep in people's asses on the Halo gamecase and such.
- Video games are awesome.
- Booth babes...seriously....awesome.
Hollywood: Hey Azurael, Anne Hathaway's going to be the next catwoman.
Azurael: What?? Are you serious? God they'll pick anyone for that role! I'm still pissed about Halle Berry!
Hollywood: Well, we're still going to put her in a catsuit and boots.
Azurael: Throw in a motorcycle and you got yourself a deal.
Behold....Krystal Meyers. Listening to her music but not the lyrics (and wholly disregarding the crappiness that is this video), her stuff isn't that bad.
Upon closer review, yeah...she's a Christian singer. While I'm not against Christian bands, sometimes they tend to sound a bit the same. She's not bad because she has a wide range of musical sounds.
That all being said, if she went metal, even not totally (i.e. Anthrax but rather Flyleaf) metal...she would be way better.
And for f*cks sake, lose the pink-and-pearl-necklace ensemble. We know you're all good and stuff, but man, don't go cliche on the world.
I'm a sucker for a woman who knows how to play a violin. I am a HUGE sucker for four women that know how to play stringed instruments, and just happen to love to wear leather and heels.
Another String Quartet: "Bond"
I'm beginning to notice a theme here between strings and leather. Hmmm.
Chicks In Fetishwear
Ladies, the male mind tends to go a bit haywire when they see a woman dressed as though she's going to put you in alot of pain. And I can guarentee you his head will be close to exploding if there are four of you.
The 2008 Summer Olympics: The Russian Gymnasts
One gymnast, hot. A team of gymnasts? Call the fire department.
Chick Rock Bands: "Drain STH"
Double bonus here, foreign and all chicks. Notice how even the semi-homely one on the right appears to be somewhat more attractive? (Trust me, they look way better actually playing musical instruments)
Now, while not one of my personal cups of tea, most nerds I know dig heavy on the Slave Leia fantasy. I can't even imagine the protein stains involved should they talk the wrong turn at a Comic Con and walk into this photo shoot.
Chicks dressed up in anything abormal will pretty much light the fire under a guy. Yeah, we're pretty simple minded like that. Although it typically helps if said costuming is slutty in nature and made of the tightest fitting material known to man.
Dear The Corrs,
Dear Marcela Bovio,
In reviewing some of my past entries, I realize I've turned what should have been my periodic ramblings into more of a "grump-a$$" board where I can just piss and moan about stuff that irks me. And for avid followers, it's no mystery that there's ALOT of crap on this Earth that just riles me all up. So in an effort for a more PC, user friendly blog, these are a few of my favorite things:
Dots are the bomb. Not only are they far superior to JuJu Bees (because you can actually chew them), but they can also double as a meal replacement. Seriously, a large box typically has about 800 calories. Good for eating on the go when your bastard of a boss won't afford you a lunch break.
After American bands started going down the toilet (circa American Idol), I began looking across the oceans for different bands that didn't suck or sound like cookie cutter sounds. There I found a bevy of bands, mostly who are fronted by female lead singers. As fruity as it may sound, I prefer female lead singers because they have better voices, and the ones from Europe tend to use more vocal range and have more talent then American singers (i.e. F**k you Courtney Love)
Definately no mystery to most readers, I am a pretty big fan of the Fall season. Why? Chicks wearin' boots! That's why! In all seriousness, I'm not entirely clear why this fashion look is so awesome. Maybe because it presents a look where women exude more power or confidence. Maybe because the term "f**k me boots" screams in my head everytime I see them. No idea... all I do know is that I just wish it was Fall all the time. (caveat #1 - Uggs are not boots ) (caveat #2 - I'm also a huge fan of corsets and latex...see above)
While I am an avid supporter of Jack In The Box, Denny's has always been my weapon of choice when it comes to artery clogging goodness. Provided their inability to provide me with a side of sour cream when I ask for it (try it, bet you don't get it), their "bacon-flavored-everything" just captures my attention everytime I see their commercials. And don't even get me started on their skillets!
Most pretty much view it as pissing away time until something fun crops up, but for me and my close band of (few) friends, quite the opposite. Gamers pretty much have their own subculture these days, and it's one of the few things I know I can say I'm wicked awesome at (piano? No, I stopped that sh*t years ago). And as being an avid gamer since computers were referred to as "386-SX 33's", I take serious issue with the gaming industry attempting to pull families into the fray. Heeeelllll no. Get the hell outta my world. Go back to taking family pictures while ya'll are wearing the same shirt. And for f**k's sake, throw away your Wii.
While the concept is awesome, I've yet to actually meet a woman who is good at gaming. And I don't mean good enough to play Halo where they spend the majority of their time attempting to figure out the Y-Axis look controls and actually shoot an enemy. I mean a girl that can crush me at Halo, or can whoop my a$$ at Tron on the arcade cabinet. I'm talking about a girl that knows what a 3D6+2 means, or knows the story of the rise of the Chaos forces from the Warhammer 40k lore. Huh? Crickets? Yeah...I thought so.
Early on in my life, these were girls that I'd quite literally cut my own foot off and give to them if they asked. Later on that same life, I learned that if chicks looked gothy (aka "Chelsea Girls"), there was typically something MASSIVELY wrong with them. Not like the age 15-19 phase gothic chicks, I'm talking mid-late 20's. Yikes. So at this point in my life, I've learned that they're like Ming vases, awesome to look at, but don't even think about touching one....or you will pay...dearly.
Booze in general is one of my most favorite things, however, Scotch and Whiskey take the cake. After adding multi-booze drinks to my Murtough list, I found that sippin' Whiskey is a good time had by all. Although I'm currently "on the wagon" as it were, I look forward to the chance to meeting my good friend Bushmills again.
Something I'm still catching up on from my Army days, sleep is just awesome. Like most teenagers, if given the chance, I WILL sleep until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. And yes, I drool like a busted water main.
So, in light of the fact that I typically blog from work, I couldn't actually google a remotely amusing half pic of porn, so I just went with this space saver. In keeping with the bachelor contract I signed before birth, I have a massive box of porn in my gaming room, as well as a share drive pretty much devoted to storing it. Sad? Probably. Do I know more about human sexuality and crazy a$$ sexual dealings than 99.5% of humanity? ABSOLUTELY.
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