Bending Chaos To My Whim

In addition to this blog, I also professionally blog for a major website (and no, not white-rage ranting either). This weekend I received an email from someone who's had alot of experience in the field and gave me a compliment for "hitting the nail on the head". That's actually quite nice finally hearing some strong positive feedback about the articles I provide to this major company.....to help them get more 'net traffic......for free on my part. :/ Wait, what the hell am I doing?



Last Friday we interviewed an intern for a possible position at the organization I currently work with. Back in my HR job, I was actually charged with developing the internship positions for the company, so I'm not suprised that our HR turned up their noses at my idea. How can you as an organization not want this? Free labor and all you gotta do is train them! (And hopefully they're hot in the process)



In addition to that, I spent probably a good 6 hours on doing budget work, trying to figure out the expected revenue and expenditures for the next four months. Now forgive me that my crystal ball has run out of batteries, but I can't really put alot of faith into numbers that are three months out, and I'm hoping the bean-counters in accounting will forgive me if/when my numbers for that month are WAAAAAAAAAAAAY off.



Aside from all the work phone, I lost my cell phone in a (semi) drunken stupor weekend before last. Teemany martoonies (martini, dirty, 5 each) made me blank out and wake up at 800am the next morning. After conducting the post-blackout inventory for my crap, I realized my phone was long gone. Fortunately having a phone and SIM card lock on it, noone will discover my list of contacts as well as a small library of porn I kept on there (just for quick reference when I'm bored). I broke down and got a new phone, an Android to be a bit more specific. Other than the fact that I have big ol' bulky fingers and often type the wrong crap using a touchscreen, the phone is actually pretty handy. Never before have I been interested in the weather as much as I am now that it's only a button push away.



It's almost time to wrap up the work day for today (a handy 9 hour work day, per usual). Then tomorrow it's more meetings, more budget stuff, and as usual, day-to-day chaos! W00ty w00t w00t.

I'm So Sick

Been battling what I believe to be a sinus infection going on for about 5 days now. Fortunately it feels like the 3 day long headache is finally subsiding, which is good because the weekend is coming up.

Beyond that I can't say I've been doing much of anything beyond gaming, sleeping, working, working, working, eating, and going to the gym (on occasion). Looking back to my counseling sessions, I guess there's still a residual amount of mild depression, but hell, I've been dealing with that background noise for years now, nothing new. Being the naturally cynical (and witty) person I am, I honestly believe some people aren't meant to be all bubbles and sunshine all the time. Especially working in a corrections environment surrounded by a bunch of angry convicts.

I've stopped going to the ASL Community Class nights for several reasons. The first and obvious one is I pretty much have no local friends, nonetheless deaf ones. The other reason is deaf people are extremely clannish against people who are not deaf, which although they have been persecuted in American history (f**k you Alexander Graham Bell), it pretty not cool to hate me just because my ears work. Weak.

I was watching my new favorite show the other night (How I Met Your Mother) and saw an episode called "Okay Awesome" where Lily and Marshal decide they have to start acting older and more mature instead of going to crazy parties and doing keg stands in their spare time. There was one scene where Lily and Marshal were hosting two other couples that were talking about the real estate market and at one point, Marshal says something about babies (i.e. anchors in diapers) that blatantly upsets a woman who's pregnant. This reminded me alot of where I have been and where I am now in life. Yeah, I get it, people "grow up" and their priorities change to having family's, playing golf, and being f**king lame. Just because that's a fact of life doesn't mean I need to accept it. The plain truth is that if you end up getting married, having kids, and your immediately family becomes the epicenter of your life (and God forbid you post your kids pics as your profile pic on Facebook), you suck as a person. Plain and simple. Yeah, yeah, yeah...I get that family should come first, but isn't there a "second" in this equation? People that ditch their friends full out for their family's are no different then in high school when people ditched their friends for their new significant other. By doing so, you're pretty much pissing on everything that friendship was worth regardless of length (read: my local friend of 20 years who pissed on our relationship by selling his balls to his wife).

Anyway, I've probably ranted enough. It's now time for a quick energy drink before several tedious meetings, and a butt kicking trip to the gym. Doing legs tonight! Woo-hoo! (not really)

Why Am I So Angry?

It's funny because when I was going through my "unbridled rage" as a teenager, I always thought it would subside to a lower level after I grew up.

Hmm, now I'm 31 and still as angry as ever. Why you ask? Well it's very simple. I have a very low threshold for stupid people. Plain and simple. Is it because I think I'm better than most people? Maybe. More educated and more worldly? Probably. Not head-up-my-a** stupid? Yep. Now we're cooking.

Everything from mixed up Republican politics (read: any platform the Republicans stand for), to parents who shouldn't be parents (read: Duggars), to people who shouldn't be allowed freedom of speech (read: The Westboro Baptist "Church").

Now I can't stand to be angry all the time or else I'd topple over from stress before I'm 40. What do I like? Well, it's pretty scarce, but typically involves gaming, Jack-in-the-Box, porn, beer, fried bologna sandwiches, and chicks in boots. I'm very easy to please, and rightfully so. Stuck in a less than rewarding job in corrections, having pretty much no friends, and having mild IBS that can get bad enough to blow the toilet stall door off the hinges.

*Sigh* I miss this blog thing, it allows me to vent the stuff that pisses me off, and rave about the stuff I like. And allows me a medium to put down all the toilet humor I want.

Back to the beer!

Not What You Said Two "Status Updates" Ago

Several weeks ago during a freak snow storm, I ended up sliding my tiny little Prius into a curb at about 20 mph. I noticed immediately my alignment was off and didn't think much more of it, until I noticed my car would shake slightly at lower speeds.

Uh-oh.

So I dropped it off in the shop on Monday ( a certain dealership that rhymes with "hoyota") requesting an alignment and an oil change.

Phone call Monday: "Hello Azurael, I have a status update. It appears that [insert mechanical jargon here] is [insert damage jargon here]. We can't align it until we repair it. Total bill comes to $1200." To which I reply "ugh, okay....go ahead and fix it."

Phone call Tuesday: "Hello Azurael, I have a status update. It appears now that two of your wheel rims are bent. We can't balance your tired until we repair it. Total bill now comes to $2200 ." To which I reply "WOW. Okay...go ahead and fix them."

Phone call Thursday: "Hello Azurael, I have a status update. It appears your rear cross beam is [insert damage jargon here]. We still can't align it until we repair it. Total bill comes to $4800, and your car won't be ready for another 5 days." To which I reply "Holy f**k...okay, if I didn't authorize the repairs and drove it now would I die?" To which he replies "uhhhh...no?" To which I said "If I drive it, what WILL happen." To which he replies "You will burn through tires significantly." To which I reply "Okay. Fix it."

I immediately turned around and got my insurance company involved. $1200 I could do, $5000 I cannot do.

And for the record "hoyota", do you f**kers fix-as-you-go? Or do you actually complete a full inspection before beginning repairs?

Sweet Moses.

Roping It In

fig. 1-1 Maybe Reese Witherspoon's long lost cousin?

It's been a while of me neglecting my blog, for many, many, many various reasons. Looking over the past several posts, mostly it's been me grousing about the terrible facets of mankind that tend to rear their ugly head in the news, and the crazy followers who support them.

This was not my original intent of this blog. My intent was pretty much chronologicalize my day to day ongoings without giving up too much information (i.e. who I am...der).

So moving forward, I plan to return to the roots of this and trrrryyyy to post on a daily basis. So in the spirit of it, let's play catch up since I got canned from my previous job, which I had enough time TO blog everyday (canned in Nov of 2008? I'm too lazy to look at that posting right now).

• Unemployed for 10.5 months while I applied to over 600 jobs and have enough rejection letters to wallpaper my apartment (thanks to a Master's degree??)
• Got into the first non-fault car accident in my life (win-lose on this one)
• Moved back into an apartment building that isn't 1000 degrees in the summer, doesn't have people living above with concrete Reeboks, and isn't the size of a matchbox.
• Play unholy amount of Xbox (see unemployment)
• Been accused by the state of Missouri for owing an alleged $2500 in back taxes (although I was in the military at the time, and did not claim Missouri as my home state)
• Went to counseling for about three months after my drunken debautchery increased. Diagnosed with mild depression, anxiety disorder, and ....wait for it......mild substance abuse.
• Started smoking.
• Started smoking ALOT.
• Quit counseling due to 1) Not making progress fast enough and 2) my crappy insurance under my current employer doesn't provide enough coverage.
• Attempting to stop smoking and using the gut-churning Chantix.
• Saw Lacuna Coil twice in concert, and reveled in their awesomeness.
• MET Lacuna Coil and had Andrea Ferro hanging off my shoulder for a photo (awesomex2)
• Assaulted in the bathroom of one of my favorite bars (now ex-favorite bars)
• Ended up on a gurney with social services as a result of said assault
• Found a new bar
• Disowned a friend I've had for nearly 30 years due to him being a complete douche and completely whipped by his wife.
• Met a new friend, who is dubbed "Dude-Chick" for her ability to fart/burp in public and put most men to shame, but still look classy while doing so.
• Stopped self-mutilating....well, at least for now.
• Played more Xbox
• Became an Uncle once, with Uncle to the power of 3 happening soon (other brother is having twins)
• Almost got apprehended by the Seattle Police Department but talked my way out of it literally using Sign Language.
• Finished learning Sign Language. I can now converse with Deaf people pretty solidly.
• Got a job in the field of corrections. And in said job, was promoted within 6 months, then promoted again after alittle under a year.
• Let my workout routine fall of the wagon and under it's wheels.
• Hired a personal trainer to get me back on to the wagon one protein shake at a time.

So that brings us to today. Currently the only things rolling is my crazy day-to-day job in corrections, my sporadic work out sessions, and my dormant need for a cigarette which does nothing (f**king Chantix). My hopes are to get this blog back on track with alittle more than random posts about baby factories, people who complain about everything, and nutjobs...although that will be sprinkled in.