Don't Even Worry About My Blog Entry

Worry about how wrong this is on SOOOOO many levels....I wouldn't even know what I could write about to compete with this one.

Not Even A Pocket To Burn A Hole In

In financial news today, oil stock is still plunging (about damn time) while the markets are flying through the roof due to the announcement of gains by several large banking and investment firms.

If so, then why the hell is my Roth IRA still sinking like a lead rake??

Can't Shoot Down These Choppers

Much to my surprise today, I went to the dentist and ended up cavity free! Usually I sit there after the hygenist has gone over my teeth with the "fish hook on a stick" (thanks Steve), and as the dentist pokes through my mouth, says the horrible word "occlusion". So it was pretty much like winning the lottery,were I laying down after a middle age woman sodomized my mouth with sharp, metal instruments and then was told I'd won the lottery.

Beyond that, did my first and second Notarization today. Felt pretty good about the first one until I realized I biff it. So much for that "in-depth" online training. Sheesh. Instead of the awkward wording in old english of me attesting that someone signed something, it should just be a paragraph that says "Yep, he was here...check out both his and my signature".

I'm just saying.

Wonder What's Next

Found out yesterday that Oregon-B will be in town tonight and through the weekend. The instant I found this out, I was immediately excited, and conversely very tired.

Partying with him usually results with mixed drinks by 10 am, Jack in the Box by 1 pm, a rousing drinking game by 6pm, and the spins by 10pm.

I can already feel my liver recoiling in horror in this aspect. Well...should be a good time by all!

"And Tigrun Spelled Backwards Is Nurgit!"

Yeah...it's been that kind of day...

No, I Will Not Screw My Food

Rarely do I take issues with certain resturants and their claim to fame, but I found one today that just pissed me off.

For lunch, me and few co-workers went to a place called Salumi's, which apparently are renown in Seattle for their excellent sausage and so forth.

When I walked up on the place, I immediately noticed that the building was extremely skinny. The place where patrons could walk resembled that of a hallway on a nuclear sub. Two people could not stand shoulder to shoulder without be crushed up against either a wall or the counter. Secondly, the bizarre hours of being open 11am to 4 pm, Tuesday through Friday...seriously?

One thing to remember about people that grew up in the Seattle area is that food to them is another love. "Foodies" as they describe themselves, are people that are essentially snobbish about what they eat...(I guess that would make me a "Pornie"). The more abstract and bizarre an eatery is, apparently the more appeal (check out the "Salumi" link and scroll down at all the 5 stars).

I digress. So after wading my way through this hallway called a sandwich shop, I guess to the girl who takes my order. Asking me what I wanted on my salami sandwhich, I denied cheese (lactose intolerant) and I denied any peppers (had work today, not really a poopin' day). So in essance, all I got was a pile of greasy salami on a GIANT roll with what looked to be a thin spread of pesto. $10.

The funnier part is when I was asked if would be dine in or carry out. To the front of the store, there is a tiny table with two chairs (obviously taken)....then I look to my left and at the back end of the store is one three chair table (taken) and one 6 chair table (all but one chair is taken). "Seriously?" Last I checked, I'm not a huge fan of eating my meat on bread sandwich stuffed in a closet with a bunch of people who might bun-f*ck their food at any minute.

After I had the opportunity to sit (outside), I dug in...and sure enough...it was 90% bread, 10% salami...and it tasted like salami on bread.

If "fine dining" is like this, I'll stick to my ramen and cheese sticks.

Holy Crap....I'm Surrounded By A$$holes!

I'm going to stray away from my standard code of items I won't blog about to blog about the biggest atrocity, legal wise, I think I've seen in a very long time.

Make sure you're sitting, be far away from weapons, and read this News Article.

If you don't see anything wrong with it, please choke yourself now.

If you're blindly pissed off, please regain control, put the baseball bat down, wait for the flash of white hot rage to subside, and continue reading.

There is so much wrong with this article, I feel like a contestant on Supermarket Sweep, and I have no idea where the diaper isle is.

The town is actually "split" over the fact that this teacher not only refuses orders from his superiors, teaches creationism in the classroom....oh yeah, and burns students with a scientific instrument. Split?! There are people in that town that actually doubt he should have been fired? Let's dismantle the oxygen thieves waining arguments right now shall we?

How many times did I read this and read "freedom of religion" coming to his defense. Alright dumb asses, dust off your education caps because we're going to step back to the First Amendment. There is no confusion over this amendment (unlike the "supposed" confusion over the Second Amendment...but I'll cover that later). The First Amendment does not grant Freedom of Religion to all, it prevents the establishment or favoring of one religion over another by a governmental authority.

Secondly, if this meatball did teach creationism in his classroom, why the hell didn't the students stage an uprising? I remember my peers in High School would produce burning torches and pitchforks out of thin air if anything religion related reared it's head at any time. Had he tried to teach creationism at my school, he would have gotten two words about before at least 5-10 stoners would have thrown a beaker of sulfuric acid at his noodle and yelled "get f**ked!"

Authors Note: If you haven't already guessed, I'm against teaching creationism in schools. School is for learning such things as processes and empirical wisdom. It's not a place to teach stuff that isn't education...creationism isn't education, sports is not education....and for that matter, "music appreciation" is a huge joke.

Finally, there's a matter of 3-8 (three to eight? How do they not have a firm number?) students having crosses burned into their arm. Enter the defense "they're not crosses, they're X's"...enter my disgust for complete morons "they're still burned into their arms, and still by your equipment".

I never thought that half of a town could be stricken by stupidity, but I guess dumb multiplied by 100 is just too much dumb.

"I'm Gonna Need Energy To Blow Sh*t Up..."

Another 4th of July has come and gone, and I find my desire to participate dwindling every year.

One of my brothers pointed out years ago that its amazing how people will piss and moan about prices of movies that usually run about an hour and a half, but they'll pay $30 for an object that shoots in the air and explodes. So 90 minutes of entertainment isn't worth $10, but 5 seconds of entertainment is worth $30 and up? Hmm...indeed.

Attended a luau for a coworker this year, ate long-time cooked pig, and had the beejeezus shook out of me as their neighbors began lighting off M-80's in the street (as always without warning).

I think I blame my complete apathy towards fireworks back to the Army. Once you've blown something up with a Claymore Mine, everything else just seems to pale in comparison.

My Nightmares Weigh Three Metric Tons

BBW - Ironically close to the term "BBQ", I first discovered this terminology a loooong time ago when I was peddling porn in the bathrooms in Junior High (don't worry, I too was in Junior High at the time).

The term means "big beautiful woman", however, just like a bacon, cheese, and peanut butter sandwich, one of those words has to go.

Know I'm well aware of fetishism. I've written copious amounts of research proposals on them for college and honestly, I watch a crap ton of Internet porn. And beyond those that have an insane fetish for fat ladies, I wouldn't know any normal person who would say that any gigantic chick could be "beautiful".

Yes I know, "they have a beautiful face"...blah blah blah. Unfortunately, the head only equals roughly 2-4% of the average body weight. And to top that one off, faces don't make up for the fact that you could literally stuff a doughnut under a roll of flab and leave it be for weeks at a time.

This deviates from my normal rant against all people, because I need to focus in on those that are seriously obese and think they're sexy. Some women might argue that men have the same mindset....I would say different. When a guy is fat, he doesn't hit on skinnier, more attractive women because he thinks he's grade A. He does it because he's disillusioned about how nasty he is. Is this acceptable? No. Do I defend fat guys acting like they're weight lifters in their early 20's? Absolutely not.

Women, or these self-proclaimed "BBW's" if you will, know they're fat, and just commit to thinking they're attractive anyway. Every time I hear the "I'm happy with who I am and how I look", I just want to get on a bus full of 6th graders, tie a sock around my eyes, and start swinging like hell...just to get the rage out. I can only imagine classic denial is what makes these women think they're attractive, all the while generating pump fat and wearing 30 lbs. of jewelry.

To all the BBW's out there, you're not attractive. I don't care if your face can end wars and cure disease, you're not attractive. From a regular guy's standpoint, you're too damn fat. From an evolutionary standpoint, you're not built for survival nor breeding. From a frequent traveler standpoint, I don't want to sit next to you on the bus/train/plan. And from a Human Resource professional, you're "beauty" is driving up health care costs for us skinny people.

Want to feel good? GO TO THE GYM.

Dust Apparently Floats Faster Then I Thought

I went to bed last night at 9:15 because I was really tired, then failed to get up for the gym this morning because I was so comfortable in bed. This was after I took a bath to soak my achy legs from my workout yesterday.

I had fish for dinner last night, and chicken for dinner tonight.

It's official, I am now old.

Bugger....