500th Post! BOOYAH.

fig. 1-1 Never thought I'd make it! 

So today is a twice magical day as it is indeed not only my 500th blog post, but also my birthday. It's been a long road to walk, but well worth, and my plans to continue that walk will be littered hopefully with another 500 blog posts about all sorts of rants and praises to everything from fat people to how awesome some shit is (mind you some, not alot).

Now, I am far from a materialistic person, but everyone always has those birthday wants on their special day...here are just a few of mine:

#1 - Amy Lee (Evanescence) & Cristina Scabbia (Lacuna Coil) Do A Duet

As previously seen as being the two front runners on my Top 5 list, both of these female lead vocalists have AMAZING voices, and it would make my head (along with many, many other fans) explode if they were to partner up and do a duet. Not only would it be a song for the ages, it would also expose alot of fans to each others sound. Sooo, everyone wins! (And I wouldn't mind snuggling with both of them..just snuggling, and yes...at the same time)

#2 - Chicks in Latex & Boots At My House

 Now you're probably automatically thinking the most perverse thing possible, and no, not like that. I would simply want a crew like this to hang out at my house, possibly do some house work, maybe play Xbox a bit, chill with me over some Red Bull...and maybe, no, definitely take a shower with me (throw back to "Weird Science"). And yes, still in latex and boots. Okay, yeah, a little perverse. Mea Culpa.

#3 - Own A Jelly Bean Farm

 Yes, I am aware that jelly bean farms do not exist, but yet, I would love to own one. While I know zero about farming and I'm not honestly a fan of jelly beans, I think just being able to respond to "what do you do for a living" with "I'm a jelly bean farmer" would just beat out any other ice breaker at any and all parties!

#4 - Win A Gross Amount Of Money

Again, I will point out that I'm far from materialistic. However, it would be the best birthday present ever if I won a gross amount of money. I would immediately pay off my brothers student loans, send a chunk of money to my mother to live comfortably forever, then I would take the rest, buy my last employer, and shut their shit down in two seconds. Given, I would be shutting down some vital resources for individuals in need, but that's a small price to pay for the smiting.

#5 - Own The US Gymnastics Team

'Nuff said. I won't go into detail on that. 

  So as I close out the 500th blog entry, I want to thank my readers, both incidental and regular, for taking the time to read my crazy rants and opinions on everything ranging from stupid people to cheese. Read all you want, and I'll keep writing more. 

Bless Epic Bachelor Couches Everywhere

Thanks to the new cell phone, I'm actually able to take pictures now and email them to myself with relative ease.

With that said, I present the Epic Bachelor couch. A divine sitting device I picked up inside a week of reporting to duty at Fort Leonard Wood. This couch has served me well, mostly for napping and gaming since 2001. This 8+ foot beast has conquered movers, walls it's bumped into, and even weathered the two cats. Nicknamed "Edgar" in it's remaining days, I wish I had moved to a bigger place that I could have kept a hold of this faithful monster just a few more years.

Unfortunately that was not the case. And in the fact that I couldn't even give this away on Craigslist, I did what any reluctant sofa owner would do. I had a friend come over, saw the f**ker in half, and help me stuff it into a 6 foot dumpster. I'm pretty sure I didn't break any illegal dumping laws, and saved myself $20 in the process.

I hope you rest as well as I have rested on you my dear couch "Edgar"...I will always miss your constantly shifting cushions.