So We're Doing This Again Are We?

End of week 3 and I'm beginning to wonder what I've gotten myself into job wise. Don't get me wrong, everyone including my boss is awesome and I can't really complain about the schedule or the environment. The pickle here is that the person who had the job before me apparently has done NOTHING in the past 6-8 months.

The battle cry since I started in with my "new-guy" questions is "where's the policy for that"? No policy. Anywhere. Whatsoever. And the "policy binder", is actually, a giant three ring binder full of one page "policies" which only say nicey-nicey things about what the intent of it is. And apparently it hasn't been updated in a while because it's printed on what I can only assume is a dot matrix, and signed by John Hancock.

Why is it every time I walk into a new position, it's always the same story. Everything that governs my job is extremely out of date, there are filing cabinets of shit that date back to pre-WWII, and everyone operates under the flag of "it was that way when I got here".

Sooo there's that....

Back In The Saddle

 Soo I'm back in the working world after being unemployed for about 4 months (pay wise, 6 months in all actuality) and so far so good.

  I'm stoked about the fact that my supervisors are awesome all the way up the chain, even the president of the company. What's even better is my new boss is stoked about pretty much most of the ideas I'm coming up with.

  After working in an unholy place for almost four years, it's almost surreal when you actually get a job where you don't work for assholes and you arn't getting underpaid.

Phew! Living the dream, at least for the time being.

BOOYAH!

fig. 1-1 F**K YEAH

 Just accepted a job offer after several weeks, literally, of daily interviews. Now obviously this being the anon-type blog, I can't really say where, but I can say this:

1) I will NOT be working for a mentally retarded a-hole.

2) I WILL be getting paid more than my last job.

3) I will NOT be working for a mentally retarded a-hole.

Yeah yeah, I know #1 and #3 are the same, but it's a pretty important thing to point out at this stage in the game....you know, because noone likes a-holes.....well, unless you read this blog, then I guess I'm the a-hole writing these posts.

Anyway F**K it! I got a job!! BOOYAH.

Oh Goddamnit....

  Well, I've gone and dood it. The proverbial tides have turned and now I'm starting to get more job interviews than I can handle. Yay and booooooo at the same time.

   Today I got scheduled for an interview for a pretty sweet gig, and no less than two hours later, I'm contacted by the state for testing for a potentially better position.

   While most HR professionals can agree you can typically reschedule an interview, it's basically saying to that hiring manager "I'd love to interview for the aforementioned time for a job at your company, but I got better shit to do, soooo, can we reschedule?"

  Sweet....

Hollywood Is Officially Dead

  Taking a break of my epic quest that I call "holy-shit-can-I-please-get-a-job-yet?" I digress to a review of a movie I watched last night.

   I had the opportunity to watch "Movie 43" or "Jack The Giant Slayer". Naturally going currently with my luck, I went with Movie 43.

   Wow....did I fuck up.

   I'm not going to peel this movie apart to show how bad it is because I wouldn't exactly know where to start, and I'd never stop. Let's just say this is probably the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. That takes the coveted spot pushing gems like "Date Movie" to 2nd place.

   This is another example of movies where I wonder just how high or mentally retarded I need to be to actually think this shit is funny. My brain wanted me to think this was funny because it had ALOT of big stars in it, but it wasn't there.

   This must have been written by a 5 year old, because it's just littered with genital and toilet jokes, ironically, none of them that actually landed.

   What the fuck Hollywood. Have your standards all but just evaporated at this point? This is a serious argument to pirating movies again just to make sure I don't lose $6 watching movies on demand.

    I'm not the only one who thinks this. This steaming pile of movie recieved a 19/100 on Metacritic and a 4% from Rotten Tomatoes. It would have been lower, but naturally the shills are on the boards screaming about how we "just don't understand good humor" and that it had "laugh out loud moments".

  Ugh.

My Sobriety Has A Shelf Life, And Unemployment Has Just Invented Time Travel

   So in my daily doses of crappy daytime television, I see ALOT of banking and insurance commercials. Just a ridiculous amount of them. They all have the same common theme which typically boils down to "your family is your everything, now go out and make shit happen." Which now that I type it out, doesn't make alot of sense, but that's pretty much it.

   Problem #1, what about us fuckers that don't have familys? Are we lesser beings as the result thereof?

   Problem/Issue #2, the statement "go out and make it happen/follow your dream" makes me want to donkey punch a nun. Fuck you. If shit was as easy as "going out and doing it", I'm pretty sure all disease would be curable, and people would know how to shit diamonds right now.

   Entering my 5th month of unemployment, I'm noticing that oh so familiar shift of my sanity from being optimistic and upbeat about potential job prospects, to wanting to burn down a school everytime I get the same canned rejection letter.

   Don't tell me "you had impressive qualifications, but we decided to pursue another candidate" because obviously you don't know what the fuck "impressive" means. It means "damn, we should interview this guy". I would rather the statement said "you had nothing on the other guys, and your cover letter pretty much left you shitting the bed in hopes of getting this job."

   Who the fuck is getting hired these days???

Annnnnd....Here We Go Again...

fig. 1-1 "Wait....who is this?......What the fuck?"

  So as I posted recently here, I got cock blocked for a job at a pretty huge organization (rejection #2 within a 24 hour period) and was told I made it "really far" in the process and that other job openings were going to be posted.

  My initial knee-jerk "fuck that, fuck you, fuck the horse you rode in on, fuck your mother, fuck your father, fuck your Bible, fuck fuck fuck" eventually wore off and yes, I applied for another job with the organization. That was several weeks ago. Low and behold, I got a call today saying they want to interview me for the position. Bear in mind, this position will be for a position which reports to the position I first applied for.

  Hmm. Sticky wicket this one is. I've never actually interviewed for two jobs with the same organization. The positive side is 1) I already kinda know what they're going to ask 2) I DID make it far in the process for the last job which shows I am somewhat of an organizational match and 3) I'm probably going to have the same panel to interview me, which is good because it'll make adapting to their personality easier.

 The negative side of this is only that if I don't get it this time, I'm probably going to explode the moon with my rage soaked mind.

Run For The Hills!

  So last week I decided to pay around $30 to have my resume posted on various job seeking websites, with the futile hope that recruiters would magically stumble across me and think "wow, I gotta get this guy".

  NOPE.

  So far I've received at least 5 different emails and at least one phone call from Insurance Companies offering me, not a job interview, but a "career opportunity". Folks, be weary of these kind of calls. The red flags you should listen for is obviously "career opportunity", any mention of life insurance, and if they tell you to wear business attire to the job interview. Duh, what would I wear to an interview? Oh, nevermind, it's not an interview, but a pyramid scheme presentation you and about 30 other people will end up getting sucked into, wasting valuable time in the process that could be spent getting a job.

  Basically how it works is they sell you about being "in business in yourself" by selling life insurance (and or other crap people don't wanna talk about) and all you need to do is pay into the company to get the insurance license and for various training materials.

  I recently ran across someone that I worked with you got sucked into this work cult. She was excited about it, especially after having a meeting with a "Regional Director" in the same career field.

  Now hold up, how can you be a "Regional Director" if you're working for yourself? Are your cats your frontline staff?

  Jesus wept. Just wanna work!

Should I Freak Out Yet?

 So it's been quiet in the employment seeking world, a bit tooooo quiet. And it's pissing me off.

 I've begun to contemplate moving back to the small town in Idaho I grew up in and essentially mashing the reset button on my life.

 Half of me doesn't want to admit defeat and that despite my education and skill set, I'm just an abject failure in the eyes of the world.

On the other half....well, fuck Seattle.

That's pretty much it....

New Blog Launch!

fig. 1-1 No, not me. I don't own a guitar....

 After various amounts of inspiration and the fact that men these days continue the downward spiral into being more metrosexual, I've decided to fire off a new blog about a code of being a bachelor.

 This differs somewhat from guy code, but there is alot of overlap. 

 I think it'll provide single guys reassurance about what's normal when you're single and on your own. I think it'll probably also provide an interesting (or terrifying) viewpoint about what we guys do when we're not in a relationship.

You can find that sparkling new blog HERE.

Don't worry, I'm still cynical and pissed off enough to keep this shitstorm blog a'flowin. ;)