Plan For The Worst

Another video where I was amazed at the epic fail involved.

However, it does remind me of winter, which I can't wait to get here because I'm tired of living in a scorching apartment because the powers that be decided long ago that "Seattle never gets hot enough to install central air into an apartment building".

Whatever!

Dammit

It's finally sunk in that I have to go back to school.

How Can This Be?

I have absolutely nothing on my mind worth remembering, talking about, ranting about, or joking about.

I apparently really need to get out of the house more....

The Almight Dolla Dolla Bill Ya'll

There are days that I feel like I need to take a shower when I get home at work. Why you ask? Because some companies are motivated purely by the higher profit.

Unfortunately today is no different. Ugh. What I'd give to be back in the Army sleeping in the dirt for weeks on end.

The Universe Have Spoken

I would buy Daniel Simpson (assailant) breakfast at Denny's for this fine night's work.

Kudos to the Noel Gallagher pusher, you're the man!

Daniel Simpson, the "Oasis-truly-eats-a-bag-of-dicks-and-I'm-not-gonna-stand-for-it-anymore" hero.

MTV Is Dead To My Generation

I've checked around the Blogosphere, and I can't really find where any one from my generation is calling it, so I'm calling it. MTV...you have failed miserably as the "counterculture" of television programming, and I'm declaring you lame. So lame that I'd punch out your stupid moon man on the sidewalk out of sheer anger and crap in his oxygen tank.

The reason I'm tossing the gauntlet down was brought to a head over the past 72 hours where I couldn't watch tv on several channels because they had one of those awesome ads that hangs out on your tv screen during your entire show, and takes up approximately 1/5th of the screen. Constantly reminding us that the VMA's are coming up and who all is going to perform at it. Woo hoo. Can I please watch tv on VH1 and not be reminded of the VMA's that will be shown on MTV (VH1...you f**king sell outs).

As predicted, the VMA's were "stolen" by Britney Spears, most likely after her wrist-cutting performance at last years show. This is MTV not only trying to make nicey-nice and saving her from imploding due to piles of self doubt and epic failure, but also MTV exec's attempting to craft her as the 100 to 1 odd comeback marvel that she will inevitably fail to become...because she still nuts, she not jail bait any more, and she's a horrible parent.

As for the "host" (aka Dr. Epic British Fail) Russell Brand. This no talent hack only confirmed that what they find funny in Britain, is not, by any stretch of the imagination, drunk or not, high or not, insane or not, funny in the absolute least. At top of the fact that he openly pronounced that he was going to sodomize a teenage boy band, the dude looks like a drag queen with 5 o clock shadow. He thinks he's funny, but he's actually just a walking, breathing tribute to every joke that man has told and screwed up the punch line, since the beginning of time. Get on the wheel Russell! You're f**king clown shoes!

And MTV....ah yes MTV...the bastion for such "gems" (aka giant heaving piles of hateful insults to humanities purpose for being) like Tila Tequila, The Hills, My Super Sweet 16, Next, and Making the Band....it's funny to think that this channel initially started with the intent to support music for the generation that's empowering it. Now the audience they're targeting probably doesn't know what "MTV" stands for, nonetheless what it used to represent. No dumb blondes attempting to look good on reality shows back in the day, nor (fake) lesbians holding "who's the biggest whore contest" on MTV (yes Tila, I'm talking about you, you human hand wash), and definitely no Road Rules/Real Life crap. They should just go ahead and change the name to RTV (R=reality) and stop the lie. Matt Pinfield should start his own channel...that's the only guy that still has some spine from that group.

I can remember shortly after MTV began it's horrific zombie transformation over from all music to all reality shows. It had some snippy commercial that said "If you want music videos, you still have MTV2, so stop your whining". Hmm....okay children...let's go down that road shall we?

The History of MTV2 is a rather abrupt one, and as you'll see if you click on that link that it was infected rather quickly by the same rating grubbing d-bags that run MTV. Music videos on MTV2 you say? Well, let me just click over to MTV2's site and check the channel listings for today.....hmm, From G's to Gents, Run's House, Rob and Big, a 2 hour block of Pimp My Ride, then back to more G's to Gents. Bravo! This is where I can find all my music video needs...oh wait...the "Elite 8" is on from 7 to 8 pm....I guess that's the music videos they were talking about.

My hatred of MTV/MTV2 is anchored in my same hatred of such things like why Disney now has commercials (that's right kids, it didn't used to), or why there's commercials before the movies at the theatres....or even why when I'm reading a news article on MSN and a giant half screen ad pops up and I can't find the "close" icon so I'm forced to see how great some car I'll never buy is.....it's all about chasing the dollar. Now I know that businesses are entitled to make a profit, I got that....but if you're built to waive the flag of the non-conformist age group (MTV), when you go and sell your soul to crappy but highly viewed shows, you're cashing in your credability. When you go and advertise on a rival station (VH1...you a$$ clowns), you're REALLY suck.

I guess I could draw this beating to a close in saying the Video Music Awards are hosted by MTV every year...but in order to have this awards, don't you have to play music videos? Or are back-to-back episodes of The Hills supposed to do that for us?

F**king sell outs.

Social Networking, You're Doing It Wrong

In flipping through random profiles on MySpace and FaceBook, I've noticed things that probably shouldn't piss me off, but the inevitably do anyway, and I'm sure most people in my situation can agree.

Loosely, I would submit the following as being completely moronic to have regarding your pictures on your social networking site:

- If you've cropped out someone from your picture using Microsoft Paint, please re size the image. I find it disturbing to see what should be a 5x7 picture, but I only see your head in the very upper left inch of the screen.

- If you have a kid, and there are more pictures of your kid solo on your networking page then you, you're a total loser.

- Same rule with pets. Once to two picture of your pet(s) is acceptable. Anything beyond that, including various captions as if the animal were talking, we'll you might as well buy 40 more cats/dogs because you've become that person.

- Ladies, if you're standing back-to-back with another girl in the picture and you're hold up imaginary guns, please punch yourself in the face right now. That crap got old 10 years ago. Seriously, I remember it from college.

- I really don't need to talk about what I call "MySpace" angles, but I will. If you are taking a picture of your self, and the angle-to-floor ratio becomes 45 degrees or more (i.e. the camera is above you shooting down at a diagonal angle) you've taken a "MySpace" angle...which means you're a fat pile of crap and you're attempting to capture what you believe your only redeeming quality is: for the men it would be their face...maybe a giant bicep. And for women, obviously their face/wild hair style (to draw focus away from the FAAAAT), and their giant boobs.

- Camera phone + flash + mirror = bright shining light with legs. Have someone take it for you.

- You probably should refrain putting pictures of yourself on your own social page drunk and passed out over a toilet. Save that for someone else to do it for you.

- Girls, no more "head-tilt touching-head" shots with your friends. Only the Olsen twins do that, and it's creepy.

- Guys, no more profile pictures showing your enormous beer guts. For all that is holy, have some modesty and suck it in or something.


I'm sure there's more, but this is a start. Once everyone on MySpace and Facebook can adhere to these rules, I'll figure out what's wrong next.

False Motivation Is My Quick Sand

This is making fun of the unholy poster sets called "Successories". Believe it or not, there isn't one building on any Army installation anywhere that isn't littered with this ineffective bull crap. I'm not sure how the people that make motivational propaganda sleep at night knowing that they're catering to a very small, very spineless section of the population.

Okay, I can see having this in certain Army installation. It would be to target brand new recruits...you know, the kind that are fresh out of High School that are still very influential to outside sources.

I do not see this being around anyone that's over the age of 21 and has a brain, anywhere. Think about this...pretend you're an employer and you're looking to hire an applicant that is going to be placed into a stress intensive job (errr...putting the whole "Army" and "war" thing aside...but still keeping it in sight). Are you going to want an employee who is unaffected by outside influences and draws on internal strength and insight for motivation? Or do you want an employee who is motivated by some industry generated (not from classical thinkers like Nietzsche or Plato) quotations plastered against some hotel-grade art or $9.95 coffee mug?

I'm just sayin...

Where Idle Minds Seem To Wander

This is pretty much what is on repeat in my head on slow days.

Moment Of Silence For Don LaFontaine

I've long been pondering putting in a memoriam section for those individuals who pass away that I have great respect for, and I didn't honestly see the first one go to Don LaFontaine, the King of Hollywood Voice Overs.

As corny as some might say, Don is a legend in my universe. This is literally a guy almost all of us have grown up with. True, maybe not in a hero type role, or as a role model...but someone that can immediately spark thousands of memories at the instant sound of his voice.

Five thousand movie trailers in a 33 year career, this guy is world renown for his voice. To think that his voice was so awesome, that he was both a celebrity from it, and lived off it.


It's very unfortunate that people as unique as this step off our worldly plain so quickly, but at least on the brighter side, he's just started on his career of being a Hollywood epic, and completely unmatched by anyone else.

Hats off to you Mr. LaFontaine....the movies will be a bit more bleak in the future.

To the epic voice over hero, Don LaFontaine.